Feb. 17th, 2017 00:00

[sticky entry] Sticky: hi! ✨

this is my friends-locked Dreamwidth journal.

current layout via [community profile] tofuhouse
batvirii: (life in cartoon motion)
This year, I want to incorporate the spirit of Halloween into celebrating the holidays. Not as in bats everywhere or something (although I wouldn't object).

I used to see the holidays as a competition to prove myself with the gifts I give others, as far as materialistic value goes. But this year, I'm going to treat it how I treated Halloween: an opportunity to positively influence others.

That's the short of it. Here's the long:

Read more... )

The past few days, I perceived my feelings for others as a curse.

I feel intensely toward others, & I struggle with expressing that. For example: when I had a crush on someone from school, just about everyone was able to figure it out, because I had no idea how to hide my feelings.

I am a very honest person. What I lack in tact, I make up for by telling the truth. Lying is a chore to me - I’d rather not do it. Even when lying is in my best interest - like when defending myself from abusers - it’s difficult.

I used to talk about how, since I identify with the magical girl thing, I’m inherently cursed in various ways. One of these ways is how intensely I experience feelings, as well as my inability to deal with them appropriately. (I’m working on it.)

[under cut: depression & suicide mention; this is a positive post, though]

Read more... )
batvirii: (life in cartoon motion)

I want expectantly for more terrible things to happen

I just know they’ll be my chance to flap my wings gracefully

Because everyone is so very beautiful when they’re serious

Keeping faith in myself, I’ll go clearing the hurdles ahead... 🎶

batvirii: (life in cartoon motion)
[10/20/2015 6:00:09 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): hi everyone!! ^w^ I went to my first haunted house!

[10/20/2015 6:01:21 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): it was not as traumatic as I expected! I was kinda scared because last week, when I went to the Pumpkin Patch, my parents and I accidentally got on a ride with jump scares.

[10/20/2015 6:01:33 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): So I was mentally unprepared, that time. But this time, with this haunted house I chose to go to, I was mentally prepared!

[10/20/2015 6:02:24 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): It was little lighting (except from lights as deco), "spooky" décor, and lots of jump scares. I kinda hesitated before going in, but a stranger offered to go in with me ^^;; they had Minnie Mouse ears!

[10/20/2015 6:03:17 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): I was clinging to their arm and squeezing my eyes shut before I adjusted to the maze. Then I remembered something from My Little Pony, and how one of my friends deals with scary stuff...

[10/20/2015 6:03:40 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): so I just said hi to the people jumping out at us. There was a sheet ghost, too! I thought they wanted a hug, but they were just showing us the next part of the maze.

[10/20/2015 6:04:20 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): there was someone going "mwahahahah you'll never escape" and I just said "oh, we can be friends if I don't!" in a cheerful voice

[10/20/2015 6:04:33 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): it...legitimately helped and I think I'd have fun going to a haunted house again. :B

[10/20/2015 6:04:53 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): there was also someone who popped out from the....shadows in the shadows. and they had a deep, growly voice. like GRRRAAGAGGHHH

[10/20/2015 6:05:15 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): I just said "you have a charming voice! you should look into being a baritone"

their response was "GRRRAGGGH"

[10/20/2015 6:06:08 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): then we got to the end of the maze and I freaked out because it was Saw-themed. I was half-expecting someone to jump out in Jigsaw costume and chase us out 8D;;

[10/20/2015 6:06:49 PM] CC's Delivery Service (Alyssa): oh, and for the rest of the people who did jumpscares, I just smiled and said "hi! how are you?"

the stranger who went in with me thought it was kinda funny. XD I think I helped her, too!


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